It's About Love



I have been in observance. No not a religious observance. It’s been more or less a religious observance of the patterns of people.

Our nation is in great turmoil. There are days I feel as though we are in a stage play, and I am looking for the beautiful climatic ending. There are other days I feel the rage of ten thousand men at war, because the color of brown and dark beautiful skin seems to invoke the anger of the demon Korira (hatred).

What’s Love Got?

The first public speaking engagement I had, was at 16 years old. The topic was entitled What’s love got to do with it? A song Ms. Tina Turner made a world-wide mantra in the early 80’s.

In her song, she said it was a second-hand emotion.

The question, of what love has to do with anything, is a question, everyone posses at one time, or another.

Forty years later the question is still being asked. Back then I answered the question, with Jesus. I argued that he was the embodiment of love, that he was love itself in expression.

This far down the road in my journey, I have encountered things, and people that have challenged my definition, and personal expression of love. I have to admit, I too, have felt embattled.

In light of these experiences, I have decided to argue the opposite side, of the question of love.

So, as we do in debate, I will rephrase the question Ms. Turner posed. What’s love NOT got to do with it?

Before you decide to make a snap judgement, and consider this an exercise in religiosity, consider this point of discussion:

Love is the opposite of lack.

Love Is

Every generation has a love song that makes them nostalgic. With just one phrase, anyone who has experienced what love expresses, may smile, and feel an ember flicker.

“Just the two of us” (Lou Rawls) “Let’s stay together”, (Al Green) “sweet love” (Anita Baker)“ I give you All of Me” (John Legend)“Stay with me”. (Sam Smith) “I choose you” (Tobi Nwigwe).

We all have either imagined, or experienced love at least one time in our lives.

As I began to feel this topic ruminating in my soul, a scripture I read as a child, came back to me- “The Love of many will grow cold. The King James Version says “wax” cold”. As I begin thinking about the scripture, I thought about each word in the phrase “the love of many will wax-grow cold.” These words stand out:

The, Love, Of, Many Grow, Cold.

First Word First Place

The, is a word which infers importance, value, primary. When placed in front of a noun, the, refers to the noun’s specifying effect. Simply put, the can indicate a specific kind or effect. So as I re-evaluate the word love, in this scripture, the author infers that there is a specific type of love that grows cold.

What Love Type

There are four types, or expressions of love. In the Greek they are Agape, Eros, Phillia, and Storge. (They aren’t listed in order of importance). As I studied further I found that Agape represents unconditional love. It is God-like love. Storge is the expression of tenderness, kindness; the love parents express towards children. Eros we know is erotic love. Phillia is brotherly love, friendship. As I studied further, I also discovered, the word for love the author used in his text, translated in the Greek, is Agape. From the author’s perspective, the highest kind of love, unconditional love, is the love, which is growing cold. The unconditional love of many growing cold, leads me to my next thought. If unconditional is the highest form of love, then in linear thought, the other three types(expressions) of love, are lower expressions, receiving the richness of expression, via the highest form.

Highest to Lowest

Every farmer knows that seeds contain their desired crop. When farmers begin their planting season, they have already cultivated the ground in preparation.

After choosing the crop, farmers begin to break up the soil, and mix nutrient rich fertilizer in the soil before planting seed.

For discussion, I pose the theory, that the highest form of love (Agape)is the ground, through which all other forms of love are enriched and nourished. In attempting to cultivate love, the ground must be prepared.

*How to cultivate is another post. It does not mean to stay in a toxic relationship.*

There are two points in this part of my argument I wish to bring to attention. As mentioned above, the highest form of love, is also the foundation (ground), from which every other love is enriched and nourished. Second, if the highest form is also at the lowest point of origin, the foundation, what happens when it “grows cold”?

Love look-a-Like

Cold, as defined by Merriam Webster’s Dictionary, is marked by a lack of the warmth of normal human emotion, friendliness, or compassion; detached, indifference. Cold, as defined by Strong’s Concordance, can mean to breath lightly, chill. Two things caught my eye; to breath lightly and indifference. When I think of breathing lightly, shallow breathing comes to mind. Shallow breathing indicates, difficulty, it may even bring up an image of people entering death for some. Indifference, for our discussion is, the lack of concern, interest, or feeling (toward one another); showing a lack of importance, meaning, or worth, towards the needs of our fellow men(not gender specific).

In context, love growing cold, suggests our ability, or willingness to love has diminished. The power of our love weakens. We rely less and less on the foundational expression of love, and more and more on the lesser expressions of love to fill the void e.g. Eros, Philaos, and Storge.

Consider